Friday, 19 October 2012

Top 10 - Worst FIFA Loss Excuses

Hailed as one of the most popular gaming franchises of all time, FIFA is not only a game - but, to some, a religion. This instalment of the Top 10 brings to light the some of the most pathetic FIFA loss excuses; those which should be consigned to players in need of a reality check. All are genuine, most of which you've probably heard before, and none of which you'll want to hear again. Just one rule: there are no excuses not to read on.

10. "You had a better team than me"

It's always good, whilst choosing your teams at the start of a FIFA match against an opponent, that you come to some sort of agreement over the similarity of 'star level' associated with the clubs participating. If you allow another player to choose a better team than you, thinking that you'll beat them anyway, and lose - then you've only got yourself to blame. Never give yourself an excuse to lose a match - always go for the win. Complaining that an opponent had a better team than you will never cut it.

9. "I haven't played FIFA in ages"

Firstly, where have you been? And secondly, don't let rustiness get the better of you. To 'not play FIFA' for a period of time means to deprive yourself of a heavily abundant and nutritional life source. So, with that in mind, you should be coming back two times stronger! Never make excuses over recent experience, play the game using your experience as a whole.

8. "But I don't know those fancy skill moves"

To learn these 'skill moves', you must partake in research. To display lack of research, displays lack of determination to succeed. To display lack of determination to succeed... pretty much means you're going to lose. There is no reason why one shouldn't learn skill moves, therefore laziness shall not be tolerated as an excuse for loss on FIFA.

7. "Your voice kept putting me off"

In FIFA, a player must have 100% of their concentration on the task in hand. Nothing should put a player off this task - that being to win the game. If you can't handle a bit of verbal abuse, a couple of jokes or a very talkative opponent, you are not a true player - and therefore deserve to lose.

6. "The referee was on your side"

Although some would wish for this to be unspoken, FIFA is just a game. The referee has no emotional affiliation with you as a player, and the game engine decides whether or not you are adjudged to have broken the rules. By blaming the referee, players are simply clutching at straws for an explanation to (usually) a poor performance. Maybe these players need to sit down and assess themselves before pointing the finger at the officials. Excuse invalid.

5. "This controller is dodgy"

This, it has to be said, is my personal favourite 'crap FIFA loss excuse'. By complaining that the controller is 'dodgy' even before a game has started, sets a player's mentality up for an immediate fall. Unless buttons are missing, never blame the resources that you are given. If someone else can effectively play the game using that controller, then so can you. If you consign to swapping controllers, then subsequently go on to lose, it makes you look like even more of an idiot - so get on with it!

4. "I usually play better than that"

Playing FIFA is a little like partaking in the Olympics; it's a sporting competition. Sir Steve Redgrave never got back in his boat in Sydney 2000 and claimed that, because he'd won Gold in every single games since Los Angeles 1984, it'd be okay if he didn't do as well this time. He went on for the final Gold medal and got it! Be like Steve Redgrave, don't bring yourself to the level of having to make excuses for a 'one off' poor performance. Always be the best.

3. "Your keeper won it for you"

Maybe it wasn't my keeper that won it for me, but your shit attacking ability that lost it for you. The aim of the game is to score more goals than your opponent, and if you can do that, there shall be no excuses of the sort. Similar to the desperate refereeing excuse described earlier, opposing keepers should not be blamed for your own incompetence.

2. "I must have tried too hard"

In FIFA, it is impossible to try too hard. Case closed.

1. "You got lucky"

Luck is a factor of all life's scenarios and should be looked on merely as a coincidence, as opposed to an advantage. By making the excuse that a player had a 'lucky' win means to say that the accusing opponent could not overcome 'luck' with skill. If you are unable to use playing ability to override something that is made up, then your days playing FIFA should be over. If you lose, take the hit. Never descend to the level of saying "you got lucky"... punk.

Heskey doesn't make excuses - so neither shall you.

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